


and i knew that i wanted you

by definitelybread



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Cleon, Drabbles, F/M, Not Canon Compliant, Shorts, game verse/animated movies ONLY, nun o that movie bs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27111430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/definitelybread/pseuds/definitelybread
Summary: two people, stuck in Time's unforgiving embrace. love heals all. — collection of claire x leon one shots/drabbles. (title & chapter names taken from "when am i gonna lose you" by the local natives. A Good Band.)
Relationships: Leon S. Kennedy/Claire Redfield
Comments: 19
Kudos: 34





	1. wait, when am i gonna lose you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> she laughs, and it rings across the ward with surefire joy; and it's like time slows down. — or, they collide for the briefest of moments before running away again to save the world

he's rifling through sheafs of paperwork when the door creaks open. 

instantly, leon's hand goes to his hip and he whirls; stepping out from behind the drywall.

"don't shoot - _ohmygod_ don't shoot!" 

flaming red hair, illuminated briefly by the singular strike of lightning outside the window, catches his eye. 

_claire._

"...claire. sorry. didn't mean to, uh, -" he gestures vaguely with his pistol. "sorry. hey. you're alive."

she places a hand on her hip. "it would appear that way." a groan sounds behind her. spinning on her heel before releasing a bullet from her samurai, she kicks the doors closed and barricades them with the closest metal desk. 

"guess i was followed," she says cheekily. "too popular."

he offers a half-smile.

"what are you doing here, anyway?" she strides over to him. 

"searching for the vaccine." he replies, eyes locked on the computer system in front of him. "you?"

"ah, well, i got my ass kicked pretty bad, so, i needed some patching up. figured they'd have something useful here. you know, hospital and all." 

she shifts, and he happens to glance at her arm - then does a double take. "what happened? damn! that's a deep cut, claire."

"trying to escape zombies out on main street by climbing through a pretty busted metal fence," she explains. he unzips his hip pouch and pulls out a handful of clean cloth and antiseptic. 

she scoots away. "what are you doing - _ow._ that _hurt."_

"i'd rather not leave you for dead. if i do, your S.T.A.R.S. agent brother is going to kill me next," he snarks. she squirms as he continues to dab at the injury. "you got a bandage, red?" she nods to her bag and he slips his hand in. 

"for someone who's so concerned about chris killing them, you're awfully handsy," she taunts. he pulls away, his blue eyes making direct contact with her seaglass-coloured gaze. 

they're frozen like that for a second, until claire's freckled face is painted by the effervescent bloom of a rosy blush and she tugs her arm out of his grasp.

"for someone who claims to just be looking for medical attention, you sure do know how to flirt with the medical assistant," he grumbles, zipping his pouch back up.

she chuckles, and it turns into full-blown peals of laughter.

it's like honey to his ears.

when did he last hear laughter?

he smiles.

(it quickly turns into a grin, but leon has mastered all manners of stealth at this point. she doesn't see.)

the building gives a violent shake suddenly, and they are very cruelly shoved back into reality. claire gets up and tightens her ponytail. 

"thanks for patching me up, superhero. i gotta go rescue sherry now. let's meet up again soon?" she winks and reloads her gun.

leon nods, packing up his weaponry and grabbing the hospital map before heading in the opposite direction.

_just my luck that i meet a cool girl in the middle of the zombie apocalypse._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't been here in a long time. hi! i love resident evil, but mostly just claire and leon. i feel like there's not enough wholesome writing for them, and i also feel like people really struggle to nail down their character dynamic. they always write claire as this jealous not-girlfriend and leon as a dramatic, broken man who is Obsessed with ada. like. lmao. so....here is my attempt! i'd love feedback c: claire and leon do be kinda cute doe


	2. how will i let you slip through?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "she's unstoppable when she wants something, you know," chris said, swigging the rest of his modelo. leon smiled. — sweetness.

"hey!"

jill smacked the back of chris' head. 

"that's your third beer! you're supposed to drive me home, meathead!"

chris shrugged, swallowing. "maybe it's the universe telling us to stay the night." he winked at leon, who was seated on his left. leon used his hand to cover a smirk. jill's mouth snapped shut. 

" _ASS,"_ she bit, stomping into the warm kitchen.

"don't mind if i do," chris muttered; craning his neck in her direction.

the solid _thwap_ of an oven mitt hitting the back of his head interrupted his view. 

"quit being horrible to jill," claire hissed. "i want a _happy_ sister-in-law, please," she snipped.

"i can hear you, claire," jill said from the sink.

frittered apologies spilled from claire's mouth as she moved away from chris, mixed with _"whatever_ s" from jill's general direction. 

leon chortled into his glass of lemonade. "i'm surprised either of us - or even jill, really - could make the time to get out here."

"well, i, for one, am not." his friend looked at him. "claire likes to pull strings. she goes after what she wants, and since she's smart, and cute, people just kind of.....go with it."

leon found his line of sight directed towards the aforementioned girl - well, woman, now, she was almost twenty-something - and felt something settle internally. she was currently wrapping moira burton in the tightest of hugs.

claire had picked out a pair of delicate mock emerald teardrop earrings for tonight, and they kept brushing against the jawbone that he so desperately found himself wanting to kiss. her hair was almost all the way to her waist, swinging at her elbows. it was thick enough to tangle his palms in. 

he blinked.

"you good, kennedy?"

"yeah. yeah, sorry."

* * *

"it's so good to see you, jill, really," claire said over the combined chatter of sherry, natalia, moira, barry and the others. jill smiled, her beautiful brown eyes sparking with warmth.

"it's good to see you, too, claire. i'm glad you could do this."

"to thanksgiving!" claire cried melodramatically.

"to thanksgiving!" jill echoed. "so anyway, what's up with you and kennedy?"

claire choked. "nothing! what? we're just friends," she answered, her voice cracking.

"awful lot of tension, i'm just saying. he won't stop staring at you. like, _everything._ man's got it bad."

claire sputtered frantically, her face turning into a strawberry. 

"i - i mean, maybe, i don't know, i had a crush on him when i was twenty, but that was a long time ago, and then, a bunch of stuff happened, you know, harvardville, wesker..." she trailed off.

"uh huh," jill says. "okay, miss thing. whatever you say."

claire narrowed her eyes. "hey, don't you even come for me. i know how bad you have it for chris. and i _know_ how bad he has it for you. you're all he talks about."

jill's smile dissolved into a thin line. "i don't believe you."

"well, i've never lied to you before!"

* * *

leon watched her as she ushered goodbyes to barry, moira and natalia; wishing them safe travels. parker was out the door next, giving her an affectionate pat on the head. an incredibly displeased jill followed, with a very tipsy chris in tow. sherry waved as jake walked her to her car.

"suppose i'll see you around then, for the next mismatched family holiday?"

claire turned to him and jumped. he raised an eyebrow. 

"sorry, lots of people, you know. but, uh, yeah, i'd love to....we'll do it again!" she said, tucking her hands into her coat pockets.

"sounds like a plan. think you'll look as pretty as you did this year come next november? i'd like that."

claire's eyes widened and she buried her cheeks and nose into her scarf to hide her blush. 

"only if you come," she said, her voice muffled through the wool. 

he stepped closer, and leaned in, placing a very small, oh-so-gentle kiss onto her forehead. 

"it's a date," he responded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanted to do something a little lighter than what i normally do (which is very good angst) also they cute


	3. careless or unkind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everything looks so hopeless, and it's all claire can do to breathe. — circa revelations ii

moira's flashlight clatters onto the cement ground with a metallic _clang._

claire screeches, running towards her. " _moira!_ " she whips out her combat knife and slashes the creature that looms over her companion into ribbons. 

"agh - god, i hate this place!" moira wobbles to her feet, wiping the monster's blood off her mouth. the blades of the torture devices whir threateningly close behind them. the pair stumbles away, and moira pulls out her crowbar to wrench away the plywood blocking their escape route. 

a growl sounds behind claire. without hesitation, she fires her shotgun into the skull of a hammer mutant. he writhes in pain before lurching towards her. she ducks underneath his arm and swings the fire-breathing device into his face. 

"i got it, claire, i got it!" moira says breathlessly. claire's chest almost caves in from relief. 

"let's go!" she orders.

she snatches moira's hand and they run, slamming the door closed behind them.

the two catch their breath and then stand, locking eyes. 

"we're going to get out of this, moira. we have to. our families..." moira's eyes harden. " _your_ family," she quips acerbically. claire quiets. 

she can't lie — their situation looks grim. she has no idea where they're at, no idea what other horrors this place has in store for the both of them. there could even be more of their people here. she shudders, withholding a flashback from the rockford incident.

_"chris!" she screams. her brother's head snaps in her direction. he drops the mutant in his hands and sprints in her direction. she scrambles to her feet and he grabs her arm._

_"how did you find me?" she asks, sweat dripping down her forehead._

_"leon's intel," he responds sharply, firing off a round behind her._

_"leon?" she inquires as he plunges forward._

_"leon," he confirms; pretending not to hear the wobble in her crystalline voice._

she blinks away the tears that have started to form in her eyes. "no one's coming for you," she whispers to herself. "you have to be your own hero. moira needs you."

at the sound of her name, moira turns to face claire.

"ready?" she asks, lifting an eyebrow. 

claire sucks in a breath. "don't really have any other choice." the resounding laughter she manages is weak and unconvincing. 

and so they carry on into the greenery.

* * *

halfway across the world, leon is sitting through the world's most boring meeting.

_wish claire was here. she'd make this fun._

he smiles wistfully. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> revelations two was so well done, and the way claire protected moira makes my big sister heart warm <3 plus the FLUFF/possible angst that could (and will) transpire from this....oof


	4. trace the curving on the coastline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> claire's grief is innumerable. leon is unfailing. he cradles her head against his chest and squeezes her shoulder. — post revelations ii

"leon kennedy?"

he sits up, willing his eyes to stay open. "that's me," he says hoarsely. the nurse who called his name raises a brow. 

"you can follow me. the doctor's given miss redfield the all clear."

he lopes behind her; ignoring the looks he's receiving from other nurses and patients. he knows he looks like hell. he doesn't care.

"right here," she gestures to the room in front of them. he can see chris through the glass pane in the door, talking soundlessly to his sister.

"thank you," he murmurs, stepping forward. upon entering, chris's gaze shoots up and his eyes narrow.

"kennedy. i thought you were in europe. germany, if what i heard was correct."

"yeah, well, that didn't work out," the younger man grimaced. "the information i had was....skewed."

chris nods.

"hello, leon," a voice says silkily from behind him. he does a one-eighty to see jill valentine holding two cups of what appeared to be hot coffee in her hands.

"hi, jill. how are you?"

"oh, just having a blast." she smirks. "chris - walk with me?" the invitation is not as much of a suggestion as it is a command. it's a thinly veiled attempt at dragging him away from his ever-vigilant post at claire's side.

chris hesitates, fingers lingering on claire's arm.

"chris." she tilts her head, a soft sheen of dark hair splaying across one eye. he huffs, crimson staining his cheeks at her imploring gaze. 

"we'll be back," jill says, right before the hospital room door clicks shut behind the two of them with a soft _schk._

leon stares at claire's sleeping form. his eyes rove over her body - she has a tank top on - and he winces. there are bruises on her arms, forehead...probably everywhere else, too. he spots a scab above her right eyebrow. her beautiful honey auburn hair is matted (likely with blood) and tangled. _she definitely got yanked by the scalp more than once,_ he surmises worriedly.

"how long are you going to stare at me," she croaks. he twitches. 

"sorry."

"..." silence permeates the air. "hey." is all she manages after a lengthy beat.

"hey." he responds. "how you...how you feeling?"

she blinks very slowly. "i am in bits and pieces," she whispers. "i should be dead."

"yeah, but you made it out." he tries for a smile but she is void of any emotion in her eyes. "i'm glad. it's..good to see you." leon is not, and never has been, a man of many words. he is used to other people holding the conversation. especially claire - she is the vibrant firework in their duo.

"but at what cost?" her palms splay out on the scratchy hospital blanket in front of her. "i left moira behind. to save _myself,_ " she snarls. she's worked herself into a sitting position and is gripping the sheets so hard that her knuckles are becoming whiter than the paper cup that's sitting on the bedside table across from him.

her shoulders slump and she scrubs an eye. "to think that i'm any better than wesker is a _joke._ " the words hurl out of her tiny body with such rage that leon has to battle the urge to recoil. 

he is not used to this version of claire, but he knows what grief feels like. especially this brand. he has experienced too much to be unfamiliar with it.

she is openly crying now, tears dripping onto his hands. 

leon makes an impulsive decision. he rises from his seat and climbs into the bed with her. she startles. his calloused palms scoop her body into his lap partway, and he presses her head into his chest. she sniffs, and then begins to sob louder. 

something in his ribcage snaps. 

she grips the fabric of his shirt in her fingers. nonsense words tumble from her mouth occasionally ( _\- moira, i'm so sorry -)_ as leon begins to hush her. 

after an hour, claire's weeping subsides into soft breathing; and he realizes he's rocked her to sleep. 

a small wave of embarrassment rolls over him at the intimacy of this moment, but it collapses in the same flicker with which it arrived. 

she mewls in her sleep. his face heats - that noise is too cute - and disentangles her from his embrace. leon stands, stretching his shoulder, and turns to go.

"...leavin'?" he hears from behind him. 

he turns to see claire, half-awake and looking ready to cry again.

"i...i was," he stammers.

"....stay," she whispers. "just this time. stay, for me."

he makes a phone call to hunnigan.

("it's an emergency." "what kind?" "...family one.")

(hunnigan knows he doesn't have any family he stays in contact with. it's claire. she takes care of it.)

he lays down with her, curling her into his arms. she scoots closer and presses a kiss to his bicep. he melts internally.

claire knows this won't fix everything. but it'll fix right now.

* * *

jill and chris watch as leon holds claire so close, close like she is a precious stone. 

chris looks at his hands.

"he loves her, chris. loves her so much," she says. 

through the glass insert, the two see him nestle a returning kiss into the crown of her head.

chris half-smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think that revelations two really doesn't get the attention it should. it opens up a whole new road of character development for claire, and we get to see her really in her own light apart from chris/leon. that being said, it's also great fodder for writing. i love the idea of claire coming home/being rescued and leon just stumbling to comfort her. ok thanks for listening  
> p.s. i just found the fic that initially inspired this one again - it’s by the lovely and talented @isawrightless! “She Hangs Brightly” is the title <3


	5. we'll stay here for the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it starts out fast and hot and melts into something divine, something decadent, and they are pulling away. "i've needed you for so long, claire." she laughs a little, tearing up. "i love you." he sweeps her into his arms again. — stubborn.

claire takes another sip of her beer, letting the flavor of the lime inside wash away her stress.

"not having a good time?" a familiar voice asks behind her. 

she turns to see jake muller behind her, sherry attached at his hip. she fights a knowing smile (sherry insisted there was nothing going on between them, but claire wasn't _that_ clueless) and reaches up to give both of them cursory hugs. even though annette had been tiny and william had been of average height; sherry still managed to tower over the redhead.

"ah, well, i have to be on good behavior," claire pouts. "not in the best shape after my last mission."

jake nods mutely, but something flashes in sherry's eyes. 

she knows.

 _damnit,_ she curses internally. _how many people did chris tell?_

"well, we're going to go get some drinks," the younger girl says softly. claire urges them forward with a smile.

more people pour into the ornately furnished hall - she sees jill, with her ribbon of dark hair dancing between her shoulder blades. following her is none other than chris, and he looks like a schoolboy after a forbidden snack. claire can't really blame him: his partner is dressed in a sweeping, skin-tight crimson number that accentuated her voluptuous figure. 

another familiar face draws her gaze away from her brother and his companion and back onto the incoming crowd.

a head of wild sandy hair pops up not too far behind jill.

it's leon.

he stumbles between strangers awkwardly, apologizing briefly as he jogs to catch up with hunnigan, who is outpacing him quite fast in her heels.

panicking, claire swings behind a stone pillar.

she wasn't scared, just....

her brain flashes back to the afternoon they stayed together in her hospital bed until it became dark; staving off her nightmares. the intimacy of the moment was hard to erase, and it had resurfaced feelings for leon that she thought she'd finally packed away.

crimson stains her apple-round cheeks and her fingers curl into themselves at the thought of how much she loved the feel of him, the smell, and the rumble of his voice. 

the problem was, he'd remained out of her reach ever since that day. no texts, no calls, nothing. it had been nearly two months since she'd seen him.

"...ire. claire." she pops back into reality only to see her brother waving his hand in front her face.

"hi, hey! sorry," she manages to push out.

"i look good, right?" he whispers. "nothing in my teeth?" claire shakes her head, confused.

he grins toothily. "good, cause after dinner i'm asking jill out. i have it all planned!" 

she watches as he strolls back to his group of teammates and gently draws the aforementioned woman in closer to him. she looks up at him with a flash of something vulnerable, a warmth.

claire feels a pang in her chest.

* * *

he can see her in the corner, staring at her phone. the dress she's wearing is a sultry black, draped in a deep v between her chest. her flaming auburn hair is tied into a curlier version of her classic ponytail, but he can tell she's been toying with it for a while - it's coming undone. 

her eyes, coated in smoky eyeshadow and thick mascara, flick upwards as a man approaches her. he can see her getting uncomfortable as the man gets closer. 

she says something that must be sharp enough to convey the unspoken message ( _no thank you!)_ because this particular gentleman skulks away dejectedly with his hands tucked pathetically into the pockets of his dress slacks.

he hides a smirk with the palm of his hand. 

"hey, leon!" a cheery voice rouses him from his observations and he looks up to see sherry. she kisses his temple and ruffles his hair.

"how are you?" he asks gruffly, attempting (and failing) to hide his deep affection for the younger girl. she'd always managed to stay in contact since raccoon, sending him well wishes and letters throughout the years. he'd be lying if he said he didn't see her as his own, in some way.

"i'm good! billy and i are dating, but don't tell claire," she says in a hushed voice. "i know she has a bet going with chris and i want her to lose. she's too smug and needs to be knocked down a rung."

he chuckles. "i won't."

sherry looks up towards claire, who is now engaged in a lively conversation with rebecca chambers about something that makes her throw her head back and laugh, and he wishes he was close enough to hear it.

"you know, you should go talk to her." she nudges him. he taps his glass. 

"i want to, believe me," he murmurs. "but i think i royally screwed up."

he thinks back to that night in the hospital, and how that moment with her had changed everything.

— the way he's been too afraid to confess his feelings to her, because what if she turns him down?

(so, he decided, i'll be quiet.)

in retrospect. he regrets that. it may have worsened the situation.

sherry stands and takes another sip of her champagne. "whatever you did couldn't be that bad, because she's been staring at you all night."

she pats his shoulder before swirling away, giggling drunkenly.

he decides she might be right, and rises from his seat.

* * *

claire is on her way to the bathroom when she feels fingers clasping her elbow.

survivor's instinct kicks in, and she spins violently, a knife poised in her free hand.

"leon?"

he winces. "sorry, i should have known better than to do that. but look, i was wondering if you had a second."

she lowers her knife and returns it to her thigh sheath. 

leon hopes she doesn't notice his audible swallow at the sight of her skin. 

(he is so done for. she's delicious.)

"what's up?" she asks.

"i wanted to....say hi, and sorry."

she says nothing; allowing him to continue.

"i didn't mean to, um....fall out of contact, just...work, and everything, and i'm sure you needed the space to heal..."

claire shakes her head. "i didn't. that's not healing. healing comes from family. you're my family. and you left me alone for two months." she is staring directly into his eyes now, her own getting watery. "i can't lie to you and say that's okay. you're so important to me, and what you did for me was amazing, but you just went silent on me. i was worried i had .... done something," she finishes; her voice small.

he scrubs a hand across the back of his neck nervously.

"i -"

"leon, i love you." she plows on. "i have loved you for so long, and in so many ways, and maybe we're not the most perfect people - after all, we've been through a lot, but i can't not love you," she cries, tears openly falling now. he moves to comfort her, but she stumbles backward a little. 

"you're my person," she whispers.

he pinches his nose. 

she will be his undoing.

"claire redfield, you scare the hell out of me," he starts in response. she knits her eyebrows and opens her mouth, but he holds up a palm. "let me finish."

"you scare the hell out of me, and i love you so much. i have loved you since i watched you cradle sherry in your leather jacket, bloodstained and exhausted. i loved you as you slept in the armchair in the motel room - i know you did that on purpose, so i could have the bed - and i loved you as i watched you bring rebecca back from the brink of death. i loved you even when i was an alcoholic disaster for four months of my life...i love you." his chest is heaving with the effort of his confession, and his face is red from exertion. "most of all, i loved you while i held you in that hospital bed," he says, and now he's at a loss for words. 

she gasps.

"oh," and a tear rolls down her cheek. "i th - thought you didn't feel the s -" 

he can't wait any longer, and he gathers her into him; his mouth crashing onto hers.

it's all claire can do to stay on her feet. she loops her arms around his neck and kisses him back, smiling the whole time. they start out fast and awkward, but fall quickly into a steadier rhythm. claire tastes like magic, like honey and spun sugar; and leon hums in approval. she knots a hand in his hair, letting a sweet sound erupt from between her lips as his hands wander.

"i always knew it was you," she utters as they pull away, and he rests his forehead against hers. he smiles and goes in for another kiss.

" _dude."_

the pair spins to find chris and jill behind them, staring.

"i should kill you, kennedy."

leon feels claire twitch.

"you _ruined_ my plan," he starts complaining. "i was going to ask -"

"ask _what?"_ claire quips.

"uhhh..." chris trails off and directs his gaze to the sky.

"just ask me," jill says.

chris looks at his S.T.A.R.S partner, flabbergasted.

"you heard the lady," his sister prompts.

"jill valentine, will you go on a -"

he's cut off by jill pulling him into a kiss.

"yes," she says. "yes, please."

claire squeezes leon's hand, and he looks at her, his chest bursting with the joy of it all.

* * *

"what about ada?" she asks him later on the phone.

"what about her," leon parrots.

"didn't you, uh..."

he scoffs, quietly enough that if claire hadn't been listening closely enough she would have missed it.

"we kissed. once. and the feeling wasn't mutual on _either_ end. she just likes to yank people's chains, especially mine."

"angela?"

at this, he pauses for effect. "claire. sweetness. she was drowning."

claire ignores the warmth that flares in her ribs at the use of the pet name, and she concedes.

"i love you," she says.

leon smiles hard. 

"i love you, too, claire," is his soft response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't linear to the last one, but it does take place afterwards. also it doesn't really follow the canon timeline too well but i love it so.....also, the pining,,,, yes pls....... anyway go read the S.D. Perry books if you haven't already...the way she writes clairexleon is so seggsy.... im out


	6. i remember you said everything has its place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> her cries are full of fear, and leon is suddenly full of a fiery rage that threatens to implode. — anguish; meet grief. [leon-centric]

it's a little after two-thirty in the morning when leon spots a motel off the highway.

"you made it just in the nick of time, you've got the last available room." says the lady behind the counter. she offers leon a twisted smile and hands him a room key. 

_"thousands are proclaimed to be dead or missing as the fire in raccoon city continues to spread..."_ the television above him announces. he avoids eye contact with doris ( _denise?_ he doesn't know, he's exhausted and freezing, and her name tag is lopsided) and herds claire and sherry towards their room. 

she knows what they've escaped. there's no way she doesn't - they're both covered in filth and grime, the kind that could only be associated with a zombie apocalypse. a wave of gratitude collapses over him at her kindness. 

claire gently wakes sherry and wordlessly guides her into the bathroom. he hears the shower squeak on and tries to pretend it hides the sound of the little girl's soft sobs. eventually, they dissolve into silence. 

when the two of them emerge again, claire is soaked from head to toe, and sherry is asleep; wrapped in a cheap robe. 

leon averts his gaze.

"the shower's free," she tells him. 

"you go first," is his response.

"but your injury -"

"no one will be able to patch me back together if you die of pneumonia, claire. go shower. put on dry clothes. please." he is practically begging her, and her acquiescence comes in the form of a shaky swallow. 

sherry, tucked away in the bed behind him, rolls over and he is surprised to find her awake. her face is composed as she reaches for him, and he locks his fingers with hers. gives them a squeeze, for good measure. 

* * *

he's still awake around seven, unable to sleep. the sun has yet to come out - the gusts of wind shaking their walls imply a vicious storm will soon follow. 

at seven forty-five, he rolls over to stare at the ceiling. it's raining now; the _pit-a-pat_ of water rolling into the window panes keeping a steady beat in his skull. 

eight a.m. finds him sitting on the edge of his dingy mattress toying with his badge. a flash of lightning causes sherry to twitch, and he looks over to make sure she's alright -only to notice that claire is staring straight at him, her grey-blue orbs round. 

"i don't feel good," she starts before she bolts to the bathroom. he's quick to follow. when he rounds the corner she's braced her upper body over the toilet, dry-heaving like hell. 

he crouches behind her and gently scoops her hair away from her neck, noting the sweat that's gathered underneath it.

 _dammit,_ he curses internally. _she's sick._

claire releases her iron grip on the porcelain bowl in front of her and lays down on the cool tile. 

"it's so hot," she murmurs; her cheeks flushed. 

"let's go back to bed," leon urges. "i'll get you some medicine." 

claire refuses, curling into a ball. "i want chris," is her mumbled response. "i want to go home." her voice cracks on the _o_ in "home," and that's when she begins to claw at her shoulders. 

"it's _too hot,"_ she snarls, tears forming in her eyes. "i want it off, i want it off!" now she's tugging on her clothes, and her yelping has awoken sherry, who stands in the doorway looking terrified.

"sherry, go back to bed," leon demands. claire is full on crying now. sherry, although ashen and clearly full of concern for her new friend, obediently disappears. 

claire's cries are getting louder and more fervent. leon scoops her up into his arms. she stills, her tears subsiding into weak hiccups. 

he is angry.

* * *

he isn't sure what time she finally goes to sleep, but it doesn't really matter because her fever has gone down either way. 

"is she going to be okay?" sherry manages to ask once he's got claire tucked into bed.

"yeah, she'll be alright."

at some point, between everything that he's dealt with, his body finally gives into the need for rest. when he wakes up again, sherry is watching cartoons on the little television in front of them (tom and jerry?) which means — he checks his watch — it's eight in the morning. 

he has slept a full day. mild panic ensues. he'd only paid the lady/doris/denise for one night. he kicks the covers off, only to reflexively fall backwards in pain. 

"good thing i picked up more bandages," a somewhat sleepy voice says from the doorway.

he looks up to see claire, a weak smile on her face.

"how are you feeling?" he asks, swinging his feet over the end of the bed with a minor grunt of pain.

"not really great, but better than last night. listen, we've got to change those bandages." leon opens his mouth to argue, but she cuts him off before he even makes a sound. 

"do you really want an infection?"

he grumbles, following her into the bathroom. he leans backwards onto the edge of the counter and she starts talking while digging through the paper bag of medical supplies. 

"i took care of the extra night. don't worry about it," is the first thing she says. 

leon blinks. "thank you."

"we're a team, you know, and not to mention you stayed up with me last night." she laughs mirthlessly. he studies her movements, how her slender hands peel so effortlessly at ada's carefully placed wrappings. how her freckles are so fine that if you didn't take a second look you'd miss them. 

"i'm sorry you had to see me that way," claire whispers as she shakily unwraps the new gauze kit. he peers downward at her. 

"no big deal, we all get sick. maybe if you'd listened to me, and showered sooner, you wouldn't have gotten sick," he teases gently. she freezes.

"if i had listened, none of us would be in this situation," she says numbly. instantly worried, he slides off the counter and stands in front of her. her eyes are watering and she lets her head drop onto his chest. he lets her, bringing an arm around her back. 

"listening to rules is bullshit, okay?" he says jokingly before deciding to completely encircle his arms around her. she sniffs. "and besides," he continues. "who would have had my back when i escaped the gas station? who would have saved sherry from that creepy bastard irons? who else would have put Birkin in his grave? not me," he tells her. she cries harder, clutching the fabric of his shirt. 

he falls silent, burying his face into the crown of her head. 

"g - gotta fix th - th..." he presses her face back into his chest. 

"it can wait a second, claire. just take your time."

a strangled, choking wail breaks free from her ribcage, and leon is full of undaunting fury.

he is going to find whoever was ultimately behind this, and he is going to rip them limb from limb. 

if it was the last thing he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy sorry i checked out i moved down south for a minute and my laptop screen was broken so i had to fix it! nice to be back. okkk til next time tho


	7. now we’ll lie in our bed, wondering how to explain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dolor (pain.) — post resident evil vi. [content warning for mental health & alcoholism discussion]

it's almost seven at night when he hears a small tap on his door. 

"hey," a soft voice answers when he pulls it open. 

to his surprise, it's claire redfield.

she's wrapped in a thick burgundy scarf, snowflakes melting into her loose hair. she's cut it since sjem - the wild curls twisting in every direction. her nose is a bit red from the cold, and she's the cutest thing.

"leon. may i come in?" she asks, gesturing to the foyer behind him with a mittened hand. he shakes himself out of his observational reverie. she laughs internally at his spaciness.

"uh, ah, yeah. sure."

he closes the door with a light click as she takes off her snowy boots. 

"wisconsin, huh?" she grins at him. "interesting choice."

"rather have snow than rain," he says gruffly, his aches dissolving any mirth. "look. what are you doing here? i doubt terrasave put their precious funds into your hands and sent you here just to drop off some files."

something like brief hurt flickers across her face, and red tinges her cheeks.

"i...heard you went through the wringer, what with lanshiang, and..." she trails off. "i just thought i would come and see you, and see how you were. you did it for me," she adds with a lopsided smile that makes leon's heart flip. 

"i'm doing fine."

her grin falters, and she steps closer to him. "you haven't called me in months...we're all honestly worried for you, leon."

he says nothing.

"you always do this," she whispers, her eyes glossy. "you never ask for help."

his jaw goes rigid and he turns his head away from her. 

"you should go." 

claire lunges for his wrist and encases his calloused hand between her palms. 

"let me stay. i came all this way to see my friend, and he won't even visit with me?" she jokes weakly. "you -"

"no one asked you to," he snarls, snatching his arm from her grip. "you're not needed."

claire crumples at this, and it's all leon can do to not apologize.

 _good,_ the voice in his head says. _you don't need her, and you don't deserve her. you're better off like this._

she re-laces her boots and stuffs her arms back into her fluffy coat in frigid silence. 

"you're such a bastard," she snaps, stomping to the door. 

he looks up, shocked that she's not crying, but —

she is. 

there's hot tears pouring out of her eyes as she continues to curse him.

"you're so _stupid,"_ she gasps through sobs. her anger streaks a bold crimson across her skin. "why do you push people away when you're like this? we've been through the same things, leon. why do you not let me...come to your side the way you come to mine? you look like hell, and i know you're not drinking water or eating vegetables," she snarks, laughing even as she wipes snot off her face.

his eyebrows knit together as he fights with the pain in his head. 

"you don't know what i need," he bites.

she throws her hands up in the air. 

"you always have to be _so_ misunderstood, don't you? poor leon kennedy, hardened zombie survivor! never taking responsibility for his actions!"

"i knew you only came here to pick a fight!" he yells, slamming his fist on the counter. 

_god, his head feels like it's caving in._ _he hurts so bad._

claire jumps, shock painted across her features at his seemingly unprompted violence. she starts bawling harder, her puffy coat making her look silly and tiny.

and then —

— everything spins into darkness.

* * *

still air greets him as he opens his eyes to a taupe ceiling with water stains on it.

"mr. kennedy, you're awake," a voice exclaims as he pushes himself into a sitting position. "do be careful, dear, you're in no shape to be moving so roughly," the voice chides sweetly.

he smacks his mouth, blinking disorientedly at his surroundings. 

"i'm in the hospital?" he croaks. 

a nurse appears in his line of vision and nods. 

"you've been asleep for about two days. the woman who brought you in here was crying to death, she was so concerned about you."

leon feels lightning shoot through his spine. 

"is - is she still here?"

the nurse pauses before answering, almost like she's thinking.

"no, i don't...think so," she says slowly, not making eye contact.

leon stares at her in disbelief.

"you're not a good liar, patrice," he responds, shooting a cursory glance at her nametag. 

he swings his feet over the side of his bed, about to rip the fluid bag out of his arm when a stern tone has him crawling back under the covers.

"if you rip out that bag, i will make sure you meet God today," claire warns from the doorway.

patrice excuses herself and hurries out of the room.

he watches her as she draws up a seat at his bedside. she looks like she's just woken up, her eyes sleepy. she has a cup of what he suspects is coffee in her hand, and it smells like it's been poured from Heaven. 

"here," she says, softer now, and shoves the paper cup into his hand.

leon murmurs a hesitant _thank you_ and takes a drink, and another, and then greedily drains the last of it.

"the doctor said you were severely dehydrated and malnourished," she begins as he drains the last of the caffeine. "there was only beer in your system."

he refuses to meet her gaze now, eyes lingering on the threadbare quilt that covers his legs. 

"i know...i wasn't there, and i don't know exactly what you went through. but i just wanted to say i'm sorry for screaming at you, and for showing up unannounced." she swallows and takes a deep breath. "i didn't mean the things i said. i hope you can forgive me. but...you...just so you remember, there's a lot of us that love you, and if you need help, tell us, okay?" her voice is wobbly. 

she manages a watery little smile and pats his hand before moving towards the door. "i'm sure we'll see each other soon."

he's dumbstruck - she's leaving?

 _of course she is,_ the nasty thing that lingers in his brain hisses. _why would she stay with_ you? _after how you treated her?_

he squeezes his eyes shut.

"...claire."

she stops, halfway out of the room.

"yeah?"

"stay."

her grey-blue eyes round a little, but she obeys; seating herself by the window this time.

leon clears his throat awkwardly before letting words spill from his mouth. 

"the truth...is that i've been struggling. i didn't want to ask for help because i didn't think i could. something inside of me told me i wasn't allowed to, that i would be weak and i didn't need it. that others needed it more than me, that i didn't deserve it. and then i stopped caring, about my health, about everything..." he scratches his neck. "i was in so much pain and i..." his head droops into his chest, and he feels his eyes begin to water.

"you're not alone, you know."

claire folds her hands. 

"i don't mean that to invalidate you, by the way — it's just... i experienced the same pain after sjem." she winces still as she says it, the mental scars lighting fire in her brain. "i had convinced myself i didn't need anyone, and that i was the only one who felt that same ripping grief...having you by my side helped," she quickly tacks on. "and i guess i thought i was doing the right thing by coming to see you. i realize now maybe i could have called first," she offers softly.

he shakes his head. "i'm glad you came when you did."

a tear makes its way down his cheek and claire reflexively stretches up to wipe it away with her hand. her top rides up with the motion, and leon catches an eyeful of her skin. he feels a pang of warmth travel into his chest cavity and realizes belatedly that it's desire. 

she recoils as if she's touched a flame and quickly apologizes. "sorry, i didn't..." 

"no, the one who should be offering you an apology is me," he replies. "i should never have treated you the way i did, regardless of my situation. i mean that. i love you, claire," he says in a burst of emotion, one that's been packed away for far too long.

claire's pretty mouth forms a little _o_ and she blushes. 

"i...i love you too," she whispers, fingering the hem of her cream-colored cable knit sweater. "like, um, like a brother."

she steals a look at him to see his eyes have become somewhat half-lidded as he gazes at her.

"you're no sister to me," he says, leaning down from his spot against the pillows and pressing a soft kiss to her jawline.

she splutters, clapping a hand to his chest in surprise. 

"i - you -"

he pulls back, looking down into her face, and tucks a piece of her unruly mane behind her ear. she feels her heart thrumming in her ears as she scoots closer into him, making a decision — daring him to finish what he's started. 

and he does.

leon scoops her into his arms, his palms wrapping around her waist as he kisses her entire face — cheeks, eyes, forehead, chin, everywhere he can reach. he moves to her knuckles next, peppering them with his lips before he finally descends upon her mouth with renewed fervor. claire clutches his shoulders, her fingertips wrapping into his hospital gown. he grasps her bottom lip gently with his teeth (much to her pleasure) and sucks it, asking for permission to taste her. she releases a saccharine moan that sends blood rushing everywhere in his body, and he goes to —

" _mr. kennedy!_ your heart rate is through the roof! you need to be resting!" 

he shamelessly pulls away from claire, grinning.

* * *

leon is released the next day, and claire arrives with a bundle of sunflowers for him.

"hi," she greets him.

he pulls her in and delivers a kiss to her forehead. "good morning, claire."

she beams up at him.

"good morning."

* * *

the next four months are a challenge — leon has to undergo rehabilitation for his drinking problems, and he's on a monitored diet to make sure he receives the proper nutrition. he also sees a therapist twice a month to work through his remaining trauma - not just from Tall Oaks, or Lanshiang, but from everything since Raccoon City.

generally, however, he's free to come and go as he pleases.

which just means he's found somewhere to nap, and he's dragged claire with him.

she doesn't mind.

she loves him so much, she thinks she'll nap anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh angst. my comfort zone. i would adore some input on this one, i really do think i love how it turned out. while i hate the trope-y "claire and leon argue and then they have sex" (i think that tends to run so unrealistically, which, i know it's completely fictional anyway, just a me thing) i think i avoided that. i mean people do argue. especially people who are hurting. anyway! sorry i was tapped out for so long, work is busy and holidays and ive had 0 inspiration. hopefully that changes! thanks for sticking with me. happy new year! let's make it a good one :D


End file.
